I did it...finally

I gave my first injection last night and it went something like this:
I went into the kitchen and got the shot ready. Then I put ice on my injection site. Charlie watched. Then I picked up the shot and held it over the site. I wanted to get it over with, so I started to inject it...then 3 inches from my body, my hand froze. I literally couldn't do it. Charlie said, "Do you want me to do it?" I told him no, I needed to know how to do this. I tried again. I said to myself, "This is ridiculous! You had a root canal 4 hours ago. This probably won't even hurt. Count to three and then just do it. It will be over in a second." I counted to three, and my hand WOULD NOT move. Then Charlie tried counting..nothing.
I have, many times, been disdainful of people on The Amazing Race because they won't do a zip line, or go down a water slide. They stand crying, while their partners cajole, encourage and then try tough love. I will never judge those people again.
I asked Charlie to leave the kitchen, but still, I couldn't do the shot. My hands were shaking at this point and the effects of the ice had long since disappeared. I called Charlie back into the kitchen and burst into tears. "I can't do it! I'm not going to be able to do this and there will be no babies because I'm a wuss!" Charlie asked again if I wanted him to do it. I stopped crying and said yes. He took the syringe from me, pinched the skin, and sat there. Then he looked up at me. I said, "What?" he said, "I don't think I can do it either." FUUUCCKKK!!!!! I was so frustrated at this point. I said, "OK, you go somewhere else. I am going to watch the video again and then try." I watched the video and went back into the kitchen. Then I did exactly what the lady on the video did.
I slid the needle in and I injected the hormone. It burned and itched and I was as proud of myself as if I had climbed Everest. I ate a celebratory bowl of ice cream. I told Charlie several times, "I don't know if you know this, but I injected myself with a needle." He assured me he remembered and that I was the most fabulous, bravest person ever. He also says he doesn't know what he's going to do when it's time for the Progesterone shots. I don't think we can think about that now. I just want to get through the next couple weeks.