appreciation

I haven't posted anything in a while. I think that's because I have been trying really hard to not think about it while I wait to start my shots. I start my Lupron on May 11, so that's one week from today. As strange as it seems, at this point, I just want to get started and get it over with. I have almost totally forgotten my fear of needles. It will probably come raging back when I'm ready to stick myself but for now, I'm not bothered by the thought. It's really strange to think how adaptable people are. A year ago I never would have believed I could do this(OK, 4 weeks ago I had my doubts). Some days I'm still not sure- but mostly, we do what we have to do and we are all stronger than we know.
I joined an online support group/chat and it's great. Everyone there is dealing with infertility. The reasons for the IF are different, but the feelings are very similar. It's a huge relief to know that there are others out there celebrating success and dealing with failure. It gives me hope that I will get pregnant and helps me believe that if I don't, we will get through that, too.
Most of the people around me are very supportive or, if they don't know what to say, they tell me that. That's one of the big reasons for the blog. No one has to say anything. They can read this and know where I am and not feel pressure to say the right thing to me. I appreciate everyone who does keep up on the blog, and my friends who call and email with support or encouragement and tell me that it's cool if I have hot flashes and a short crying spell at their bachelorette parties. I appreciate my boss for sharing her getting pregnant issues with me. I appreciate my husband who has been on this roller coaster with me and loves me in spite of my behavior. So thank you for being there. It means much more than you probably realize.
Also, I promise that future blogs will contain more humor and a lighter take on the situation..but I have been feeling contemplative lately and realized I am not doing this alone.... I'm sure that once I get nervous again, the inappropriate jokes will flow from my keyboard....