Most of you are pretty familiar with my moral values and political views. I tend to lean a little to the left and I think people should be allowed to make up their own minds about issues that come up in their own lives. I think a lot of the time, though, it's hard to see the ramifications of laws and policies and even developing technology until you are involved with it. I think this is a good example of that.
Due to my experience with the IVF process, I have found myself in the middle of several strange conversations about medical procedures I had only heard about on the news.. I never thought about multiples or frozen embryos at all and now they raise all sorts of ethical issues I didn't see coming. Here are a few of the big ones:
1. What do we do if we have leftover embryos? Our options include destroying them, "adopting" them out, donating them, or paying storage fees (yep) indefinitely.
2. If we have leftover embryos and my IVF cycle doesn't work and something should happen to Charlie, would he be comfortable with me trying again on my own?
3. If we have 2 embryos implanted and they split, and we end up with quads, should we do a selective reduction?
4. If something happens to both of us, who "owns" our frozen embryos?
5. Who gave birth to and raised those stupid truck drivers with naked lady stillouhetts on their mudflaps?
Just a few to contemplate while I'm waiting for shot time.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
So, Charlie had his surgery on Tuesday so that they could extract sperm or tese as they call it in the RE's (reproductive Endocrinologist) office. The procedure went very well, they got 6 vials, which means nothing to me, since I don't know how big the vial is. I do think that should be enough to get me pregnant. The way they extract it is that they do a testicular biopsy- cut a bit of his testicle out. Then they (and I'm quoting here), "pulverise" the testicular tissue to retrieve the actual sperm cells. I'm glad that part is over and he's basically home free for physical discomfort- and he's very sweet when he's on pain medication.
I ordered and paid for my IVF medications on Tuesday after we got home from the hospital and they were delivered the next day. The grand total was $3,059. On top of the fees we already paid ($5,100), we have spent $8,159 in the last week. Another $4900 is due at the time of my harvest. I am panicking a little about the cost, but I think it will be worth it.
The medication delivery was a little overwhelming. It's a lot of syringes and a sharps disposal container and vials and vials of medications and hormones. Some of them have to be mixed with water. That's what I'm most afraid of screwing up. If I mix a bit too much water with the trigger shot that I take right before my harvest, the whole cycle is blown and I am back to square one. I also can't figure out the calendar that my doctor's office sent me to track when I need to take which injection. It's as frustrating as math class and I know that there are women out there who are not geniuses that have done this. I just don't know how. Maybe it's a conspiracy by the medical field to thin the herd. Like, if you're not smart enough to do this, you have no business with a child. I certainly hope not...because chances are good that I don't have any business raising a child. I've just been hoping no one would notice.
I ordered and paid for my IVF medications on Tuesday after we got home from the hospital and they were delivered the next day. The grand total was $3,059. On top of the fees we already paid ($5,100), we have spent $8,159 in the last week. Another $4900 is due at the time of my harvest. I am panicking a little about the cost, but I think it will be worth it.
The medication delivery was a little overwhelming. It's a lot of syringes and a sharps disposal container and vials and vials of medications and hormones. Some of them have to be mixed with water. That's what I'm most afraid of screwing up. If I mix a bit too much water with the trigger shot that I take right before my harvest, the whole cycle is blown and I am back to square one. I also can't figure out the calendar that my doctor's office sent me to track when I need to take which injection. It's as frustrating as math class and I know that there are women out there who are not geniuses that have done this. I just don't know how. Maybe it's a conspiracy by the medical field to thin the herd. Like, if you're not smart enough to do this, you have no business with a child. I certainly hope not...because chances are good that I don't have any business raising a child. I've just been hoping no one would notice.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
How not to order medications
So, I got on the schedule for my cycle. When you can be scheduled depends on incubator space. I start on birth control pills on April 17th (roughly- again depends on my cycle), then on the Lupron shots on May 7th. This means that I should be pregnant by the end of June. I am feeling better about the whole thing (again). I figure I will learn one of two things about myself during this process:
1. I am much much stronger than I ever thought I could be
2. I don't want babies nearly as much as I thought I did
Either way, we'll know.
Before you start with medications, you have to confirm an order with the pharmacy for a 3'X 3' box of vials and needles that is sent to your door. Yesterday, I had to get some dental work done and they sedated me. The post op instructions say very clearly that I am not to make any purchases or important decisions for the rest of the day. The thing about the sedation is that it's like roofies. I'm awake and can talk, but my judgement is impaired and I won't remember anything about a conversation later. So, after my procedure, Charlie took me home and put me to bed.
Somehow, I got my phone in bed with me and checked my messages. I had 2 messages from the pharmacy telling me that I needed to call them to confirm my order for IVF medications. The last message said that if I don't call them back, they were going to call my mom because she is listed as my emergency contact. At this point, I must have panicked, because I didn't want my mom worried or in any way involved in the nuts and bolts of this process. Instead of seeking Charlie's sober guidance, I went ahead and called the pharmacy. When Charlie found me, I was talking to the pharmacy lady, wouldn't acknowledge his presence or his repeated inquiries about who I was talking to, and was taking notes about the $3800 worth of medication the pharmacy was sending. When I hung up Charlie asked who I was talking to. I said, "the pharmacy about the IVF meds". He said, " Why would you do that now?!" This was very upsetting to me, I guess, because I started crying, told him they were going to call my mom and accused him of being mean because he wouldn't let me have my phone back.
He called the pharmacy back, explained that I was impaired and got all of the correct information. Then he got me settled on the couch where he could keep a closer eye on me.
I told you, the man's a saint.
1. I am much much stronger than I ever thought I could be
2. I don't want babies nearly as much as I thought I did
Either way, we'll know.
Before you start with medications, you have to confirm an order with the pharmacy for a 3'X 3' box of vials and needles that is sent to your door. Yesterday, I had to get some dental work done and they sedated me. The post op instructions say very clearly that I am not to make any purchases or important decisions for the rest of the day. The thing about the sedation is that it's like roofies. I'm awake and can talk, but my judgement is impaired and I won't remember anything about a conversation later. So, after my procedure, Charlie took me home and put me to bed.
Somehow, I got my phone in bed with me and checked my messages. I had 2 messages from the pharmacy telling me that I needed to call them to confirm my order for IVF medications. The last message said that if I don't call them back, they were going to call my mom because she is listed as my emergency contact. At this point, I must have panicked, because I didn't want my mom worried or in any way involved in the nuts and bolts of this process. Instead of seeking Charlie's sober guidance, I went ahead and called the pharmacy. When Charlie found me, I was talking to the pharmacy lady, wouldn't acknowledge his presence or his repeated inquiries about who I was talking to, and was taking notes about the $3800 worth of medication the pharmacy was sending. When I hung up Charlie asked who I was talking to. I said, "the pharmacy about the IVF meds". He said, " Why would you do that now?!" This was very upsetting to me, I guess, because I started crying, told him they were going to call my mom and accused him of being mean because he wouldn't let me have my phone back.
He called the pharmacy back, explained that I was impaired and got all of the correct information. Then he got me settled on the couch where he could keep a closer eye on me.
I told you, the man's a saint.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Orientation
We went to orientation yesterday. It was 5 hours long and included training on mixing and injecting medications. We will get to that later. First the demographics:
There were about 15 sad, white upper, middle-class, heterosexual couples in it. All the ladies were over 30. We were all strangers. It was the perfect place to ask questions about ovarian follicles and male factor infertility. The only time the mood was slightly lightened was when one guy said, "We have to do the more intense cycle...I'm guessing that's because of advanced age? She's 42.." and his wife threw up her hands and looked exasperated. Everyone laughed at that.
The medications I am going to be taking are:
Lupron injection- prevents eggs from being released
FSH injection-encourages the development of eggs that are not being released
HMG injection- I honestly can't remember why I take this
HCG one injection -"trigger shot" taken exactly 30 hours before harvest
Medrol pill- steroid that will lower my immune system so it doesn't attack and dispose of the embryo
Antibiotic- one dose given right after harvest so my weakened immune system doesn't get infection from the surgical procedure
Aspirin- Prevents blood clots caused by constant fucking with of my hormones
Progesterone injection- Charlie has to administer these. Hormone that will help my body keep the lining of my uterus thick and sticky enough to maintain the pregnancy
The training made me feel better about the shots I'm giving myself- the needles are small and pretty thin. It made me feel worse, though, about the shots Charlie has to administer.
The progesterone is mixed with oil and has to be injected into the muscle of my hip or top of my thigh. The needle is about as long as my pinkie and is wide so that the oil can get through it. These also take time to give, because the oil has to be slowly plunged into my muscle for absorption. I have to take it daily for the first 8 weeks of the pregnancy. Three of the hormones have to be mixed with water right before they are given. If I mess up and forget a shot or mix it wrong, the whole cycle is blown and I have to start all over again from the beginning. All of the injections have to be given between 6 and 7 pm. Probably want to avoid calling my house during that time. Or anytime, really, during the cycle. Side effects mimick menopause and/or pregnancy.
I don't have my cycle scheduled yet, but I hope to get it scheduled by the end of next week.
There were about 15 sad, white upper, middle-class, heterosexual couples in it. All the ladies were over 30. We were all strangers. It was the perfect place to ask questions about ovarian follicles and male factor infertility. The only time the mood was slightly lightened was when one guy said, "We have to do the more intense cycle...I'm guessing that's because of advanced age? She's 42.." and his wife threw up her hands and looked exasperated. Everyone laughed at that.
The medications I am going to be taking are:
Lupron injection- prevents eggs from being released
FSH injection-encourages the development of eggs that are not being released
HMG injection- I honestly can't remember why I take this
HCG one injection -"trigger shot" taken exactly 30 hours before harvest
Medrol pill- steroid that will lower my immune system so it doesn't attack and dispose of the embryo
Antibiotic- one dose given right after harvest so my weakened immune system doesn't get infection from the surgical procedure
Aspirin- Prevents blood clots caused by constant fucking with of my hormones
Progesterone injection- Charlie has to administer these. Hormone that will help my body keep the lining of my uterus thick and sticky enough to maintain the pregnancy
The training made me feel better about the shots I'm giving myself- the needles are small and pretty thin. It made me feel worse, though, about the shots Charlie has to administer.
The progesterone is mixed with oil and has to be injected into the muscle of my hip or top of my thigh. The needle is about as long as my pinkie and is wide so that the oil can get through it. These also take time to give, because the oil has to be slowly plunged into my muscle for absorption. I have to take it daily for the first 8 weeks of the pregnancy. Three of the hormones have to be mixed with water right before they are given. If I mess up and forget a shot or mix it wrong, the whole cycle is blown and I have to start all over again from the beginning. All of the injections have to be given between 6 and 7 pm. Probably want to avoid calling my house during that time. Or anytime, really, during the cycle. Side effects mimick menopause and/or pregnancy.
I don't have my cycle scheduled yet, but I hope to get it scheduled by the end of next week.
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