Baby Negril

We were very excited when we heard about the success of the operation, and I was changing jobs and had some time off, so we decided to go to Jamaica to celebrate and do some serious baby making. On our first night there, we decided that if we conceived in Jamaica, we would name the baby Negril, after the town she/he was conceived in. It had a nice, unisex quality and an exotic ring to it. Then we sobered up and realized we might be a little carried away and that Negril wasn't even a very good name for a dog, never mind a baby.
Once we got back (not pregnant), I started with the ovulation kits. To use an ovulation kit, you pee on a stick first thing in the morning every day, and when the test line is the same color as the control line, it means you have about 24 hours to deliver the goods to the waiting egg. The only problem is that I have a terrible memory for things like taking medicine and peeing on sticks, so the way I used the kit was to stumble into the bathroom, half-asleep, pee and then get into the shower. That was about the time I would remember that I had not used the stick and start cursing the stick (because it really should have reminded me), and/or my poor husband (because if the stick didn't remind me, he really, really should have). I would gently (sometimes using the f-word) remind him that he has a responsibility in this, too. Then, on my way to work, I would call to apologize.
On the times that I did use the stick and the lines matched, we would have what have to be the least sexy sexual encounters in history. The lines NEVER matched on a day when there was time for romantic dinners, wine, and long conversations. Noooo sir. Those lines only matched on days when I had to work 12 hours, traffic was bad, the dogs puked in the living room and the kids had school projects due the next day or meltdowns. I talked to a friend of mine who said getting pregnant was the only time she would say, "Do we have to?" about having sex. She said they called it, "baby-making sex", and that's exactly what it was. I felt so jealous of the couples who would say things like, "Oh, little Mandy was concieved when we were in Aspen- we didn't even suspect I was pregnant until I missed my first period. We had no idea it would happen so quickly after we started trying!" I began to see those people for what they were- arrogant liars. I was even jealous of the girls on Teen Mom- They got pregnant accidentally!!! I'm not proud of it, but it's the truth. For the first time, I understood that this would not be a rational process.