Charlie's empathy hat

When we went to Jamaica for the first time, on our honeymoon, we saw some inflatable rafts in the gift shop and debated whether to buy them. They were cheaply made and cost $10 USD. I suggested that we just get one and share it. Charlie's exact words were, "I know that by 'share' you mean that you will lay on the raft in the ocean while I stand beside you and turn the raft so you can get the optimal amount of sun on you. I don't want to do that". We bought two rafts. His got a hole in it on the first day and after that, he spent a lot of time standing in the ocean, pulling me, on my raft, behind him. My point is that Charlie knows me. He not only knows me, he understands me. He knows that I get controlling when I feel insecure and that I can't process a single feeling without talking about it for an hour. He knows that I cry almost every time I watch Oprah and that I can't drive the speed limit to save my life.
He knows how much I want to have a baby, but I don't think he can fully understand what I'm going through. I think it might be that he has no biological clock, or the fact that he already has kids, or, it could be because I'm the one who has to be stuck with 589,647 needles in a single month's time and have people rooting around in my lady parts, not once or twice, but approximately 15 times (he also knows that I exaggerate for emphasis when I tell stories). Whatever it is, it's not just hard on me, it's hard on him. I know he wants to be supportive but he doesn't always know how. I also know that on a good day, I am not the easiest person to live with. One morning, on my way out the door to go to work, I yelled at him (after he had brought cigarettes home a fair amount of the time....and I may have even been crying), "I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STOP FOR CIGARETTES EVERYDAY! IF YOU ARE GOING TO SMOKE YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR OWN!". The man is practically a saint.
Anyway, it's hard to find balance with this situation. I want to tell Charlie what I need but I don't want to blame him for my feelings about the issue or take out the frustration I feel on him.
I recently told Charlie that he needs to get his empathy hat on and he needs to do it in a hurry. This came on the heels of one of my bouts of frustration and tears over not being able to get the procedures scheduled. I also have to confess that I am pissed that I have to be the pin cushion and I have no reproductive issues. I made the choice to be with him, I love him and I don't want to have children with anyone else. I knew what I was getting into. I just didn't know it would be this hard (you can see how processing feelings with me might be a bit confusing).
Charlie doesn't read my blog and I was a little hurt by that. Then the other night, I asked him if he read my latest entry and he said to me, "Read it? Baby, I'm livin' it!"